Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse / Bohemian Spider-man / Spider-man Spider-man Spider-man Spider-man Spider-man Spider-man (Top Ten Fake Movies of 2018)

As we move closer to Oscar Night, it’s important to recognize the best Spider-man movies of the year. Many people do not take Spider-man movies seriously, but this prejudice against Spider-man movies is outdated and discriminatory. Spider-man is just as worthy of being represented in awards shows and top ten lists as any other man.

Though the quantity of Spider-man movies dropped in 2018 (2017 yielded seven Spider-man feature films, last year only five) the quality of Spider-man movies has if anything only increased. Three of the Spider-man movies from 2018 are so good that they truly deserve to be celebrated among the Top Ten movies of the year. They take up the seventh, sixth, and fifth spots on FMR’s annual top ten list:

7. Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse (dir. Various)

The seventh best movie of 2018 is Spider-man: Into the Spider-Verse, a movie that does for Spider-man what The Avengers did for so many other superheroes, which is the most epic crossover of all time.

spiderverse_FMRSpider-Verse follows a new digitally animated Spider-man as he travels through dimensions to discover and team up with all the other Spider-mans from throughout time and space including Peter Parker (Tobey Maguire), Amazing Spider-man (Andrew Garfield), Avengers Spider-man (Tom Holland), Miles Morales (Shameik Moore), Baby Spider-man (Seth MacFarlane), Emo Spider-man (also Tobey Maguire), Old Man Parker (digitally aged Tobey Maguire), Spider-woman (live action, Elle Fanning, animated version voiced by Hailee Stanfield), Cartoon Spider-man (Christopher Daniels Moore) and many many more.

Though the dozens of Spider-mans in Spider-man: Into the Spider-Verse can become overwhelming at times, the movie is such an energetic interdimensional adventure that you can’t get help but be carried away with enthusiasm as if carried by Spider-man as he slings webs across New York City.

The final level of the movie was my favorite, when every Spider-man we’ve met so far falls into a dimension in which the entire universe is simply a single cold room filled with very realistic scary spiders. I had never seen Spider-man take on realistic scary spiders before, so this was amazing for me.

Melonmeter® Score:

94% liquid & seed retention – watermelon_icon_pitr-1979px CERTIFIED JUICY

6. Bohemian Spider-man (dir. Bryan Singer)

bohemian_spiderman

Bohemian Spider-man is not only one the best Spider-man movies of the year, it’s also one of the best movies of the year period. The film explores what would have happened if Queen frontman Freddie Mercury had been bit by a radioactive spider at the height of his fame.

Naturally Freddie Mercury decides to split his time between touring and recording with Queen, and fighting crime and tangling with supervillains Green Goblin and Doc Ock (who are secretly members of the bands Boston and Bad Company in their spare time).

Eventually, Freddie tires of leading a double life and comes out as Spider-man onstage in a dramatic performance for the Live Aid concert. The Live Aid concert is meant to raise money to find a treatment for the terminal illness caused by being bitten by a radioactive spider, but unfortunately Freddie Mercury dies of this mysterious disease before a treatment is developed.

As a work of both counterfactual history and historical allegory, Bohemian Spider-man is profound. It’s also thrilling and dramatic as any action-adventure/biopic has ever been.

Credit must go to the maestro auteur Bryan Singer, who is a proven genius at burying gay liberation stories inside of comic book action movies to make them palatable for a mainstream audiences. I might have chosen a different director given Bryan Singer’s well known history of sexual abusing teenagers, but what do I know I’m just a fake movie critic, not a real movie producer.

Melonmeter® Score:

95% liquid & seed retention – watermelon_icon_pitr-1979px CERTIFIED JUICY

5. Spider-man Spider-man Spider-man Spider-man Spider-man Spider-man (dir. Peter Greenaway)

spider-man_spider-man_spider-man

Spider-man Spider-man Spider-man Spider-man Spider-man Spider-man makes my Top 5 movies of the year!! Long live Spider-man on film in all his glory.

Spider-man Spider-man Spider-man Spider-man Spider-man Spider-man is English arthouse director Peter Greenaway’s austere tribute to the theatre of absurd, especially the work of Nobel Prize winner Samuel Beckett.

Filmed on bare stages that recall Lars von Trier’s Dogville, Spider-man Spider-man Spider-man Spider-man Spider-man Spider-man posits a world in which we are all either Spider-man or Not Spider-man.

In a world divided between incarnations of Spider-man and everyone else, who is fit to rule? Much of the film is difficult to understand, as “Spider-man” is the pretty much only English word that is uttered out loud during the movie, with various incomprehensible grunts and howls making up much of the movie’s dialogue. But it became clear to me eventually that the movie was an elaborate satire of Friedrich Nietzche’s theory of the Übermensch.

After watching this movie, I was about to conclude the the universe is composed of an indefinite, perhaps an infinite, number of Spider-men, with elaborate costumes and the fabulous ability to sling webs and swing from building to building. Then I heard about the announcement of a new Spider-man movie to be released this spring and I became distracted.

Melonmeter® Score:

96% liquid & seed retention – watermelon_icon_pitr-1979px CERTIFIED JUICY

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