Honey, I Shrunk My Penis

The new sci-fi satire Honey, I Shrunk My Penis starring Matt Damon is laugh out loud funny and offers an incisive critique of the way we live now. More importantly, the movie’s got heart. Though largely shut out from awards season, don’t make the mistake of missing it while it’s still in theaters. The ‘size gags’ have to be seen on the big screen.

Matt Damon plays Blake Humpsie, a mild-mannered insurance executive who always plays it safe. His only problem in life is his grotesquely oversized penis. His disgusting organ is so enormous, he has to have his pants custom-made by a tailor. Even worse, it’s ruining his marriage and embarrassing his children at every turn.

Fortunately, Humpsie finds hope when his doctor tells him about a new experimental procedure that involves a high tech shrinking ray. Without telling his wife, Humpsie signs up to get the treatment.


The sequence depicting Humpsie’s appointment at the shrinking ray is the funniest part of the movie. George Clooney demonstrates what an able director he has become by wringing every laugh he can out of all the dysfunctions of new technology. First of all, Humpsie has to shave his body hairless because the ray causes rash to develop around any active follicles. Then the ray malfunctions anyway and shrinks Humpsie’s penis well below normal size. When Humpsie wakes up from the procedure and checks under the covers to see what he’s working with will you will howl so hard with laughter that tears will drip down to your private parts if you’re naked while watching the movie which is what I recommend.

Screenshot 2018-03-04 at 6.19.06 PMScreenshot 2018-03-04 at 6.19.36 PMScreenshot 2018-03-04 at 7.25.01 PM

Humpsie’s hubris in thinking he can have it all leads him down a dark path. Now equipped with only a micropenis, and small knob-like tumors begin growing all over his groin and pelvic area. His wife divorces him and he turns to drink. The movie ends with Humpsie in a support group for alcoholics with micropenises.

While this movie wasn’t nominated for any Oscars, I’m sure Clooney and Damon are happy to have made the movie of their dreams about the dangers of not being happy with what you have. They’ve already won plenty of Oscars, and they didn’t compromise their vision to make something bland and inoffensive for the Academy’s consumption.

What the rest of the critics are saying:

“In Honey I Shrunk My Penis, at first Matt Damon has a very large penis. And then he ends up with a much too small penis!” – Gustina Saroeh, Christian Science Monitor

“The only sci-fi movie this year to match the wit and imagination of Black Mirror.” – Danz Chi’ot, Wall Street Journal

“This feels like the most personal movie George Clooney has ever made.” – Dolores Tatro, Toronto Star

“Matt Damon is back, baby, and he’s better than ever!” – Eric D. Snider, EricDSnider.com

“I was thrilled to see George Clooney return to his roots playing the smarmy doctor at the shrink ray facility. ” – Santi Nurhayati, Entertainment Weekly

“Blake Humpsie is one of the great leading man characters in cinema history, and Matt Damon brings him to life with panache and verve.” –  Rayyon Shinta, indieWire

“A great sci-fi parable for the Trump era.” – Boedaksang Penakluklautan, Vox

Melonmeter® Score:

100% liquid & seed retention – watermelon_icon_pitr-1979px CERTIFIED JUICY™

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s