Snatched

Stop me if you’ve heard any of these “mom stereotypes” before:

  • All moms like to go on tropical vacations
  • All moms have a filthy mind even if they don’t share their dirty thoughts out loud
  • All moms secretly want their daughters to invite them along on a sexy adventure
  • As they get older, moms generally want to become their daughters’ spunky sidekicks
  • Each mom’s personality is the exact opposite of her daughter’s on the surface, but deep down they are pretty much the same girl
  • Moms who get divorced experience a lot of anxiety and need their daughters’ help to kick back, relax, and forget all their troubles
  • All moms are horny for suave but possibly sinister men
  • Moms are always sure any two older women traveling together are secretly lesbians
  • All moms enjoy cooking Szechuan cuisine in a wok
  • All moms pretend to like their lazy, good for nothing sons better than their hardworking daughters just to keep their hardworking daughters on their toes
  • Moms are annoyed when their daughters only contact them when they need things
  • Every mom has her own unique method of remembering to drink five big cups of water every day
  • All moms bite their nails
  • All moms never give their daughters enough encouragement
  • All moms are a little racist even if they mean well
  • All moms go to heaven

Sounds pretty familiar, right? If you’re nodding vigorously right now, you’ve pretty much already seen Snatched, which relies on an endless string of tired “mom stereotypes” to both advance its plot and provide nearly all of its jokes. Every scene hangs on the reed of a “mom stereotype” and every line of dialogue is based on one “mom stereotype” or another.

Snatched-trailer-still

Goldie Hawn, a true mom if there every was one, deserves better than to play a “mom stereotype.” If you’re going to force a movie star to conform to the “mom stereotype,” why not pick a dad to do it for once? Chevy Chase is overdue for his juicy “mom stereotype” role, push it on him next time why don’t you?

I’m so tired of comedies based on “mom stereotypes” that I could pretty much throw up right now. And to add insult to injury, they released Snatched on Mother’s Day weekend. Oh look a holiday to celebrate mothers, we better release another “mom stereotype”-type movie to rub salt in your mom’s wounds.

Mom don’t need this. Mom deserve better. Mom been working a long hard time for that tropical vacation with you and she don’t need your goofs and gags. Mom deserve better than gags and “mom stereotypes” okay? I hope you learned your lesson Amy Schumer. Don’t ever do anything like this ever again.

TL;DR – Snatched is just a bunch of “mom stereotypes” in search of a movie.

What the rest of the moms critics are saying:

Snatched proves the old adage: a mom’s gotta do what a mom’s gotta do.” – B. Conner Yonk, Toronto Sun

“Certainly the best of the mother-daughter romcoms out this year.” – James Berardinelli, ReelViews

“Goldie Hawn is back, baby, and she’s better than ever!” – Eric D. Snider, EricDSnider.com

Snatched teaches a valuable lesson: Every mom happens for a reason.” – Colin Covert, Minneapolis Star-Tribune

“Why couldn’t they have cast Jamie Foxx or someone funny like that in the lead role?” – Bayle Melman, Ozus’ World Movie Reviews

“By the end of Snatched, you’ll be saying to yourself: a mom is as a mom does.” – Buzanne Witherford Weathers, Salon.com

“I wish this movie had been about the life and times of Abraham Lincoln.” – Barrison Noth, Cinemalogue.com

“Amy Schumer’s character eventually realizes the truth: you have to look through the mom to see the mambo!” – Gopé Guest, San Francisco Examiner

“I kept expecting a Will Ferrell cameo that never seemed to happen.” – Sponsor Torlakson, Buzzfeed

Melonmeter® Score:

11% liquid & seed retention – watermelon-512  THOROUGHLY LACKING IN JUICE AND SEEDS AND RATHER CANTALOUPE-LIKE TO BE HONEST™

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