Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2

The big movie this weekend is Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2. Unfortunately, just as with Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 1, there isn’t a single element of Guardians of the Galaxy that isn’t ripped off from a little known movie called Guardians of Ga’Hoole. People don’t seem to realize this and it drives me crazy.

LEGEND OF THE GUARDIANS: THE OWLS OF GA'HOOLE

Guardians of Ga’Hoole is far superior to Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2

Marvel has nearly always made shiny, superficial movies strictly for the kiddies, and none of them are particularly original. But it’s disheartening to see Marvel plunder so rapaciously from the mythology of Guardians of Ga’Hoole for its very dumb and boring Guardians of Galaxy movies.

Every character in Guardians of Galaxy Vol. 2 is a thinly disguised plagiarism of a character from Guardians of Ga’Hoole. Peter Quill (Star-Lord) is obviously a stand-in for Soren (Barn Owl), and I can’t see any difference between Gamora and Gylfie, a young elf owl. Drax the Destroyer is Marvel’s version of Kludd, and Baby Groot is clearly more than a little influenced by the design for Digger, a burrowing owl. Rocket the raccoon bounty hunter is to Guardians of the Galaxy what Twilight the great grey owl is to Guardians of Ga’Hoole. There’s no difference at all between Yondu Udonta and Nyra. Stakar Ogord, the Starhawk is basically exactly the same character as Ezylryb, the Lyze of Kiel. The evil Taserface reminds me too much of Metal Beak. Nebula and Mantis are just a variation on Noctus and Grimble (a boreal owl). I see strong shades of Otulissa in Ayesha. Kraglin is clearly similar Eglantine, and Meredith Quill literally is Mrs. Plithiver.

Guardians-of-the-Galaxy-Infinity-War

All of these characters were more interesting as owls.

And it’s not just the characters either. The Guardians of the Galaxy travel through space from planet to planet in the same way as the Guardians of Ga’Hoole travel across the sea of Hoolemere from island to island. The Ravagers occupy the same role in the plot of Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 as the Pure Ones did in Guardians of Ga’Hoole.

The whole plot of the movie turns on the living planet Ego that we discover fathered the hero Peter Quill (or ‘Star-Lord’) while planting seedlings upon thousands of worlds which can terraform into new extensions of himself. This is eerily similar to the Tree of Ga’Hoole that we discover fathered the hero Soren while spreading millions of seed eggs across the islands of the sea of Hoolemere.

When Taserface imprisons Rocket and Yondu all I could think of was the scene in Guardians of Ga’Hoole when Twilight, Gylfie and Digger fend off the bats sent by Metal Beak. And I’m sure I’m not the only one who saw a parallel between the sequence where Quill battles Ego with his newfound Celestial powers to allow the other Guardians to escape and the similar one in Guardians of Ga’Hoole during which Soren flies through a forest fire, igniting a lamp of oil, and manages to disable the fleck trap.

Marvel might have a chance to make a good movie again, but only if they stop copying from Guardians of Ga’Hoole.

TL; DR – There is nothing in Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 that wasn’t done ten times better in Guardians of Ga’Hoole.

What the rest of the critics are saying:

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 is a toe-tapping, eye-popping indication that summer is here, and that it might not suck after all.” – Brooks Buffington, VICE

Vol. 2 can claim to be bigger and better than its predecessor, although it still suffers from some of the originality issues that afflicted Guardians of Galaxy Vol.1. More specifically, it owes a whole lot to Guardians of Ga’Hoole.” – Mondale Robinson, Slate

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 has an infantile sense of humor, so I much prefer the more wholesome Guardians of Ga’Hoole which was clearly a major influence on this film.” – Uriah Ward, Deseret News

“Baby Groot is back in action and he’s better than ever!” – Eric D. Snider, EricDSnider.com

“It’s hyperbolic nonsense wrapped in the colors of a neon rainbow, bouncing from one artfully wacky scenario to the next.” – Luther Tsinoglou, Boston Globe

“Although the fast-paced plot is convoluted, there are intergalactic battle sequences galore and lots of zany humor.” – Pie Corbett, USA Today

Melonmeter® Score:

32% liquid & seed retention – watermelon-512  THOROUGHLY LACKING IN JUICE AND SEEDS AND RATHER CANTALOUPE-LIKE TO BE HONEST™

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