Goshdarned Cactus

Goshdarned Cactus is the new computer animated feature from DreamWorks (producers of Shrek, Madagascar, Kung Fu Pandas and many other cartoon classics). But this one’s not just for the kiddies, there’s laughs for adults and everyone in between too. And that’s primarily due to Jonah Hill, who provides his hilarious voice to the titular Goshdarned Cactus.

goshdarned cactus

Jonah Hill lends his hilarious voice to portray Goshdarned Cactus

Out in the deserts of the American Southwest, most cacti live in peace and harmony with each other and with nature and it’s boring as hell! But not Goshdarned Cactus, he’s got a wisecrack for every situation. He dreams of something more than living out his days conserving water and pricking small animals that get too close for comfort.

When the rest of the cacti get tired of all his clever quips and jesting jibes, Goshdarned Cactus is exiled from his home and must go on an incredible journey that will change his life forever. Along the way, Goshdarned Cactus encounters a rogue group of succulents who are planning to stick up a cattle ride. If they can keep their prickly spines out of each other’s guts for long enough, they’re going to steal enough steer to earn the big bucks. So Goshdarned Cactus has to learn to be a cowboy – that’s pretty funny, right?

Goshdarned Cactus also features the voices of a talented supporting cast including Reese Witherspoon as a spunky prickly pear, Christopher Walken as an insane peyote spouting quixotic epigrams left and right, Kathy Griffin as a trash-talking heartleaf maderavine, Paul Reubens as a gasteria who always toots at the wrong moment, Chris Tucker as a street-smart Barbary Fig, and Ken Jeong as a nasty Chinese yam. In the end, Goshdarned Cactus and his new buddies must defeat a merciless cowboy (David Koechner) in a climactic face off that takes place in a spooky ghost town.

You’ll love Goshdarned Cactus for more than just the heaps of gut-busting laughs it provides. This one’s got heart too. I teared up several times when Goshdarned Cactus went a little too far with his japes and hurt someone’s feelings even though he didn’t mean to. By the end you’ll be saying to your honey: “Aw that Goshdarned Cactus, he so sweet deep down inside I wish I could take him home and put him in my garden!”

TL;DR Goshdarned Cactus succeeds on the strength Jonah Hill’s hilarious voice alone, plus a pleasing mix of humor, rollicking cowboy-style action, and colorful animation makes it winning spring entertainment.

What the rest of the critics are saying:

“Hands down the most visually striking of DreamWorks Animation’s releases, this lively CGI comedy is tailor-made for Jonah Hill.” – Sinyo Andreas, Houston Chronicle

“Walken’s half-mad aphorisms began to grate on my nerve. The plot’s nothing special. But all of its shopworn clichés are part of the joke in this ebullient botanical coming-of-age tale about an arrogant cactus destined for greatness.” Fern Avery, TIME Magazine

“Some of it just seems silly, which is fine for a silly family movie, of course, but there’s silly and then there’s silly silly. Goshdarned Cactus is silly silly. That’s just too much silly. Silly.” – Sigit Haryatno, St. Louis Post-Dispatch

“Jonah Hill is such a crack up!” – Eric D. Snider, EricDSnider.com

“When the kids are happy and I get to watch a Jonah Hill cowboy comedy, that’s good enough for me.” – Pie Corbett, USA Today

Melonmeter® Score:

96% liquid & seed retention – watermelon_icon_pitr-1979px CERTIFIED JUICY

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s