Slamma Jamma

A few weeks ago, a movie entitled Slamma Jamma came out in theaters across North America to little fanfare. I missed it at the time, and I’m assuming you missed it too. Yesterday I went to see Slamma Jamma. I have seen every other movie currently in general release, so I really had no other option.

Slamma Jamma is a very unique movie. None of the characters spoke a language I could understand. The main character Marcus says things like “Bamma hamma gramma damma” and his girlfriend Linda replies “Yamma wamma pamma!” I didn’t know know what to make of any of this.

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Marcus and Linda blamma amma samma.

The curiosities of Slamma Jamma don’t end with its incomprehensible dialogue. Nearly every scene takes place on a couch, which isn’t very exciting or dynamic to watch in my opinion. The most interesting parts tended to be when characters would run from one couch to another, yelling phrases such as “Wamma kamma” and “Famma quamma zamma” in each other’s faces.

Hamma bramma damma thamma flamma! Amma samma blamma. Ramma wamma kamma gamma hamma damma famma. Vamma, ramma blamma tramma glamma namma jamma. Bamma flamma dramma zamma Slamma Jamma, gamma hamma lamma. Plamma wramma cramma pramma: lamma.

TL;DR – Wramma camma namma samma tamma pramma, amma famma bamma stamma pramma famma thamma namma slamma damma camma whamma famma ramma namma hamma amma namma thamma hamma vamma.

What the rest of the critics are saying:

“Slamma Jamma is the bamma hamma of gamma quamma!” – Eric D. Snider,

“Amma vamma thamma whamma pramma amma Slamma Jamma.” – Soren Barfle, Los Angeles Times

“Pramma, damma blamma dramma hamma samma vamma.” – Lori Lalama, AVClub

“Thamma famma hamma, mamma plamma amma pamma wamma damma lamma namma amma clamma unamma.” – Tunggul Pasirpule, Common Sense Media

Melonmeter® Score:

62% liquid & seed retention –  icon_fruit1-14-512 SUFFICIENTLY JUICY, YET INSCRUTABLE, A HONEYDEW

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